THE MOTHER
UK, 2003, 112 minutes, Colour.
Anne Reid, Daniel Craig, Steven Mackintosh, Cathryn Bradshaw, Peter Vaughn.
Directed by Roger Michel.
life in an English provincial town, sharing her life with her husband, especially with his needs as he grows older. While she has worked in shops, she has never had any major ambitions and has accepted her life as it came along. Her two children are settled in London, one working in finance with a very upwardly mobile working wife and his two children. His friend from school is building additions to his house. The other child is a single mother, involved in an affair with the builder, tutoring in poetry and generally feeling insecure. A not uncommon scenario.
What happens when her husband suddenly dies? Does she accept impending old age and fade quietly away? Does she change her life completely? How does she deal with her children's crises and their general self-centredness? Have intimate relationships finished for her?
These are the questions the film asks. Because the film is asking these questions of the audience as well as of the
mother, we are in a continuous state of challenge, sometimes approving what she does, sometimes disapproving, sometimes apprehensive about what the consequences of her actions will be. She has to endure the criticisms of her children, especially her daughter and her complaints about unaffirmed when she was young. While there is some truth in this criticism, the mother does not quite deserve the tirades she receives. More controversial is the issue of sexuality and intimacy. A woman of 68 who has been faithful to her husband discovers the intimacy and sensuality of sexuality, experiences that she had been really unaware of.
It is to the credit of Anne Reid, better known in the UK from television, that she brings depth to the character, a
credibility to her choices and behaviour and a vulnerability to the criticisms both of her past behaviour and her present actions. As the builder with whom she becomes infatuated, Daniel Craig gives a subtle performance, seemingly brutish but tender, seemingly committed but wanting to be carefree. We share the passion and the disillusionment as well as the puzzle that the mother goes through.
Direction is by Roger Michel (The Buddha of Suburbia, Notting Hill, Changing Lanes) and the screenplay by novelist and playwright Haneif Kureishi (The Buddha of Suburbia, My Beautiful Laundrette and that other intense story of unexpected relationships, Intimacy). Often provocative, this is an intelligent portrait of an ageing woman.
1. The impact of the film as drama, character study? Issues, relationships, sexuality?
2. The London settings, the attention to detail, the realism and authenticity? Interiors and exteriors? Homes, restaurants, the river, the streets? The musical score?
3. The title, the generic title for mothers, this particular mother? The implications of mothers and children, conduct befitting mothers? Stereotypes of mothers?
4. The real issues: marriage, family, children, age, dependence and independence, the implications of death, the aftermath of death?
5. The importance of change, age and the inability to change or the challenge to change, an older person awakening, becoming more extroverted, having to cope, relationships of care, new relationships with children as adults, with grandchildren? Issues of sexuality, sensuality, betrayal, independence?
6. The themes of generations: parents and their age and experience, seeing May and her husband at home, in bed, awake, dressing, May helping her husband with his shoes and clothing, travelling in the train, arriving in London, lost, finding the house, coming for the unexpected visit, the immediate reaction of Bobby, his wife, their children, the noise and the busyness in the house, the relative lack of interest in the old people coming? The portrait of Bobby's family and marriage, Paula and her being single, single mother? The importance of careers, plans, building, money? Memories of the children of their upbringing, true and false resentments, anger, bursting out even to hitting, having to cope?
7. The visual style of the film, the careful compositions, tableaux, fade-in and fade-out, the bright home colours?
8. May, the introduction to her, in bed with her husband, awake, Toots and his age, the detail of getting ready to go, the slippers at the door, the train ride, the arrival, their manner and their way of talking? The silence in the house? Their love for one another over the years? Their children's love yet seeming indifference? Going to Paula's meal, the joviality, Toots and his pains, in the night, going to Bobby, the hospital, his death, May keeping vigil?
9. The funeral, her return home, her finding that she could not stay in the house, the effect of Toots' absence, the return to London with Bobby, Bobby's wife and her reaction? Her going to her room? Planning to stay indefinitely?
10. May's age, character, pleasing her husband, her having been at work in the shops, the effect on her, yet her submission to her husband, family, routines? In a pre-feminist age? Husbands liking their wives to suffer? Her breaking free of this?
11. In her room, thinking, the silence? Her walking, getting lost? Bobby and his wife, the kids, the noise? Paula and her son? Her babysitting, hearing Paula with Darren and its effect on her, memories of sexuality? The situation? Liking Michael, Michael liking her? Her coping with Paula? Paula and her outburst, her anger, criticising her mother for not affirming her, undermining her? May going to the poetry group, listening, admiring Paula and her skills? Meeting Bruce, Paula trying to set her up, her not going with him? The later outing, with Bruce, his background, advances on her, the sexual encounter, her leaving? Her going to the art gallery and wandering? Her drawings and Bobby's and Paula's reaction? Paula's anger with her mother, fighting with her, hitting her to make her better? The impact of the revelation about Paula's upbringing and May's alleged neglect of her, May reflecting on this? Admitting the truth yet seeing her daughter as self-absorbed?
12. The character of Darren, the initial dislike of him? At Bobby's and building the conservatory? His sexual relationship with Paula? The morning after? The situation with Darren, his personality, his having dropped out, drug addiction, the breakdown of his marriage, love for his children? His being Bobby's friend? Work, slow? Paula asking May to find out whether Darren really loved her? Going to lunch, going out, his talk, about his son? Sex and the experiences? Her being attracted to him, kissing him? The sexual experiences, her having no shame? Her promising Darren the money for his travels? Yet his return to Paula, the outing with Bruce and Paula, the anger? His addiction, his reaction against May, talking about the money, her offering him the ticket instead of the money, his wanting chances? May's reaction to his change, her temptation to jealousy, her calmness? His breaking with her?
13. The sexual experience with Darren, the intimacy, their discussions, sensuality, her drawings? The overall effect on her personality, change, tolerance, understanding? The contrast with meeting Bruce, going out, his discussions about his being a widower, going to bed with him, running away?
14. May and her allowing Paula to be angry, allowing her to punch her mother?
15. Bobby, preoccupations with money, his wife and her ambitions? The plan to sell the house? Darren not knowing this?
16. May's decision to leave her children, Bobby and his concerns, his wife being frantic for the money, the children and their reactions to their grandmother? Paula and her obsession with herself? Her finally leaving, their going about their ordinary tasks, their indifference to her, the goodbyes?
17. A portrait of a middle-aged and ageing woman, her memories of her past, coming to terms with her past, her errors with her husband, subservience to him, her errors in bringing up her children? Her missing being married? A new world? Glimpses of possibilities, new relationships with her children, the experience with Darren? Her getting her passport, going to a new life - and not being "the mother" any more?
