MACHETE--

US, 2010, 105 minutes, Colour.
Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Shea Whigham, Lindsay Lohan, Daryl Sabara, Tom Savini.
Directed by Robert Rodriguez.

Could there be a pelicula mas loco than Machete? Yes, but they tend to be released on DVD and disappear into mad movie limbo (or on to the shelves of the completely dedicated cult fans).

Should you stray into Machete (unlikely, given its title with its implied warning), if you last the first five minutes, then you have enough fortitude to stay for the rest. Others, who like their movies sane and quieter, will have exited. There are decimations, decapitations, slicing, dicing and gouging as Machete goes into action. And, every so often, the plot is interrupted by more of this mayhem until an all-out finale.

This is a Robert Rodriguez film. While he does make some of his movies for children (notably the Spy Kids series), he has a passion for on-screen violence, influenced by his friend, Quentin Tarantino, who would be giving full marks to Machete. There is something schoolboyish (in the bad, immature sense) about Rodriguez and Tarantino in the way they put violence and brutality on screen and then invite us to gloat with them at what they have achieved. It is not all that malicious in itself, it is just as if they are daring each other as to how this time they might outdo the previous episode. They may not have pulled the wings off flies when they were kids, but they probably looked on with a mixture of gleeful horror.

It is not as if Rodriguez can’t tell a story and get you in with some of the characters and plot turns (even when you have seen them before). He is a storyteller with verve, and so he is with Machete. And, for visual effect, he has one of the most lived-in faced actor, the lined (ravined) fearsome, Danny Trejo.

Machete came to life first in one of the fake trailers in the middle of Grindhouse, the Tarantino- Rodriguez collaboration of 2007 that had two features and trailers as if the audience were at a 70s drive-in show, no holds barred (especially in Tarantino’s ugly Death Proof). They had film stock that was grainy and scratched (as are the credits now in Machete). There was a B- Budget look that meant you were not to think ‘highbrow’.

So, Machete, an earnest Federale in Mexico is betrayed to a drug lord by his boss, his family is killed and he almost dies after his machete performance (and that is the first five minutes). Three years later, he is a labourer in the US and is picked up by a wheeler dealer to be an assassin. This part of the plot is very like Shooter and other assassination-conspiracy thrillers. He doesn’t kill. They pursue him. He is rescued by a woman involved in helping Latinos across the border and by an Immigration officer. And, it becomes even more complicated with Machete’s priest brother (who, I’m sure never went near a seminary, or missed out on what he was supposed to learn if he did), the assassin-hirer’s wife and daughter and the senator who was supposed to have been shot.

One of the reasons for that paragraph, besides a bit of plot information, is to be able to list the cast – Rodriguez must have huge powers of persuasion. The drug lord is Steven Seagall, with an accent, but still sword-wielding. The hirer is Jeff Fahey who used to be a tough screen hero. The officer is Jessica Alba who starred in Rodriguez’s Sin City. The migrant helper is Michelle Rodriguez. The priest is Cheech Marin. The hirer’s daughter is Lindsay Lohan (living up to her off-screen reputation – or, rather, notoriety). And, as they say, wait for it: the senator is Robert de Niro.

Actually, the core of the plot is rather topical. De Niro is a xenophobic and madly patriotic politician who wants to preserve the American way of life, so no change. He even shoots wetbacks and has himself filmed doing it. He is a demagogue seeking re-election with speeches about ‘stopping the...’ (well, there are only small boats on the US- Mexican border), but the screenplay lays on the redneck campaigning to make it like the bigotry it is. Audiences who stay to hear De Niro will be amused at the poetic justice of how he gets his in the end. Who says a loco film, despite all its blood and guts, can’t have a message?

1. The intended audience of the film? Cult film fans? Violence and tongue-in-cheek drama?

2. The origins of the film, the trailer for Grindhouse, the influence of Quentin Tarantino? The relationship between Rodriguez and Tarantino, stories, violence, enjoying the violence, being daring on screen?

3. Rodriguez and his contribution, writing, directing, editing, special effects, musical score?

4. The border between Mexico and Texas, the city, the desert, the mansions, offices, the vans and homes? The musical score? The Spanish dialogue?

5. The introduction to Machete, the scratched film during the credits, Danny Trejo and his appearance, manner of speaking, attitude?

6. Machete as a Federale, his good intentions, job, going to get Torrez, his boss forbidding him, his going to the mansion, Torrez and Steven Seagal’s presence, the betrayal, his wife, the massacre, his being wounded, surviving?

7. The introduction to Torrez, Seagal and his presence, accent, sword, power, women? His contact with Michael Booth? Influencing the senator? His plans, the computer links, watching Booth kill his assistant? His arrival in Texas, the confrontation with Machete, the fight, the swords, his refusing to die?

8. Machete in the US, day labourer, not being hired, being asked to do the street-fighting, his victory? His meeting with Luz, her caravan, sales? The friendship? Booth and his proposal for the assassination, the threats, the gun, Machete preferring his machete, taking the money, entrusting it to Luz?

9. Luz, her network, Sartana and her watching her, the surveillance? Luz and the young men assisting her, the huge cache of arms, with the car, saving Machete, taking him to her house, looking after him, the house being destroyed, her network, for the migrants, getting the weapons, the attack on her, her being shot in the eye? Not dying, reappearing at the end?

10. Sartana, the surveillance, her position in the police work, the interest in Machete, watching Luz, arguing with her? The television, making the connections, her house, bringing Machete, the relationship? Suspicions? Her confronting the officials, finally helping Machete, the relationship and its future?

11. Booth and his assistant, watching Machete, the deal, the orders for the assassination, Machete’s refusal? The speech, the shots, the assistant shooting at the senator, pointing the finger at Machete? Booth and the television, his protestations of loyalty? His wife, collecting his drug-ridden daughter, her website and threats? At home, the meals, the patriarch of the family? His public face? The contact with Torrez, killing his assistant online? His going to the priest, his speech, his cruelty, crucifying the priest? His being taped? The rally, the tapes being played, his desperation, escape, with the senator, the senator shooting him, his final words to Sartana? The assistant, the plan for the fake assassination, chasing Machete, going to the hospital, the hospital staff and their protecting Machete and his escaping?

12. Von Jackson and his rednecks, confronting the would-be migrants, shooting them, the senator shooting the woman dead, wanting it to be filmed?

13. The senator, seeing him kill the illegal? His speeches, ideas, bigotry, the speech, his being wounded, going to hospital, on TV, his followers, the fake shooting, his limping, his walking ordinarily? His being exposed, getting away from the crowd, killing Booth, escaping, his being shot at, his bulletproof vest and his survival, disguised as an illegal at the border – and being killed by Von’s assistant and his being taunted with racist remarks?

14. Machete, the assassination set-up, the shooting, his escape, the hospital and the network, his killing his opponents? Surviving?

15. Luz, her help, Machete and the weapons?

16. The set-up at Booth’s house, Machete with Booth’s wife and daughter, the wife and sexuality, the daughter and her flippancy, being filmed with Machete? Their being drugged, hidden in the church?

17. The priest, Machete’s brother, credible as a priest, taping the confessions of Booth, helping with the network? The confrontation with Booth, the henchmen, putting him on the cross, killing him?

18. The set-up of the battle, Von Jackson and his company, the bigots? Machete and his allies? The battle and the massacre?

19. Torrez and his arrival, his confrontation with Machete?

20. The arrival of April Booth, dressed as the nun, her coming out guns blazing?

21. The theme of illegal migrants from Latin America, the bigotry of the Americans – and the bigotry being lampooned?

22. The amount of violence in the film, realistic, tongue-in-cheek? Too much or not?