THE CALCIUM KID
UK, 2003, 90 minutes, Colour.
Orlando Bloom, Omid Djalili, Michael Pene, Rafe Spaull, David Kelley, Michael Lerner, Ronni Ancona, Billy Piper.
Directed by Alex de Rakoff.
Released in the aftermath of The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean and just before Troy, The Calcium Kid's distributors want to capitalise on the popularity of Orlando Bloom although the film was made before Lord of the Rings had been released.
It is a modestly immodest small film, a David and Goliath story set in south London. It also borrows from the work of Christopher Guest (Spinal Tap, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind) in purporting to be a documentary following the progress towards a world middle-weight boxing challenge.
We are introduced to Herbie Bush a shyster promoter (a wonderfully loathsome but believable performance by Omid Djalili), a large and ignorant slob who sees this as his one chance of success. When his champion breaks his hand, the completely unknown Lambeth milkman, Jimmy Connolly (Orlando Bloom), is brought in. His bones are rock solid through drinking two pints of milk a day all his life (though the final credits have a disclaimer from the milk company that Jimmy's two pint habit is not endorsed). (This story, by the way, is a staple of musicals, from 42nd Street to The Boy Friend, where the lead breaks a leg and the understudy has to go on - and become a star.)
Jimmy is a straightforward young chap despite his mother's massaging profession and his father being in gaol. He gets an eccentric Irish coach (David Kelley, always a delight to see), has his best friend as a motivator (doing rap rhymes), is supported by everyone but then becomes the victim of a seemingly racist gaffe and everyone turns against him. His opponent is a Hispanic American.
The final confrontation is actually not what we are being led to expect and is all the better for that. But there is certainly a happy ending - if only life were like that.
1. A feelgood sports film? David and Goliath?
2. The London settings, the streets and houses, the boxing training, the ring, school? The songs?
3. The title, Jimmy getting it from Bush, the spelling with the K, the t-shirt with the correct spelling? Helping his identity? For his fans?
4. A David and Goliath story, the opportunity for a young man coming unexpectedly, his being built up, his being trapped and falling, spoilt, his redeeming himself, strong self-assertion? The happy ending?
5. The pseudo-documentary style, the introduction with the director, his explanations about himself and his films about bowls? The audience seeing the cameras, the cast talking to the cameras, acknowledging their presence, the fights and the cameras being destroyed? The intrusive nature of the documentary? The ironic, Spinal Tap kind of comedy?
6. Bush and his personality, a conman, his lack of English, pugilism, the convicts and his con-tricks, professionals and prostitutes and getting mixed up? His support of Pete Wright, the challenge to Mendez, the contact with Cohen? The plan? The press conference? With Wright, his style (and his parents being interviewed)? Herbie at the ring, the knockout from Jimmy, his anger, people advising him to think, the new plan, Jimmy as the Calcium Kid?
7. Bush and his behaviour, a slob, his old assistant ironing his trousers and giving advice about painful treatment? The bar, his meeting Paddy Flanagan, Paddy as the trainer, his eccentric presence, Irish background, the training techniques, the exercises, the dancing? The end and his knowing Jimmy's correct name, the final pep talk and support?
8. Stan, his friendship with Jimmy, memories of school, his being expelled? His wanting to be the motivator, his rhymes, rap songs, support, letting Jimmy sleep in the garage, his interviews with the documentary-makers, the deal with Bush and getting the car, leading Bush back to Jimmy?
9. Jose Mendez and his entourage, his training, the interviews, his boasting, religious, work with Artie Cohen, Cohen and his big presence, the training sequences? His image? Arriving in England, the airport mix-up and Bush pursuing them in the car?
10. The press conference, Bush announcing that Jimmy would be the opponent? Cohen's reaction, his going along with the bout? The two doing training? Jimmy and his milk run, proud of his being a milkman, seeing him at work? His being invited to the school, the teacher reprimanding him as if he were still a student, his winning over the students and getting their support? His being seen drinking milk? The support of all the tradespeople in the area, the milk firm's manager and his support? Bush and his spoiling everything, words in Jimmy's mouth, his being condemned as a fascist, everybody turning against him?
11. His mother, the story of his father in jail, her clients, her massage? Jimmy forever quoting his father and his words of wisdom? His mother, Margaret Livingston and her visit, wanting his autograph, continually intruding, his asking her to go, her camping outside? The final visit to his father, seeing him in jail, getting his advice, the almost-platitudes of his father yet the commonsense wisdom and Jimmy being impressed, wanting to please his father, his father being pleased no matter what happened?
12. His taking a stand, firing Bush, his confrontation with Paddy, his assertion at home?
13. The bout, nervous in the locker room, Paddy and his effective pep talk? His determination to go on, Bush bringing the gown with "The Calcium Kid" on it?
14. The irony of Pete Wright taking everyone hostage, in the room, with the cameras, his taunting everyone, Jose Mendez's reaction, Jimmy's reaction, the bout, Jimmy as the hero disarming Pete Wright? The newspaper responses, his being a hero?
15. The happy ending, Bush going on tour with the girls, Paddy and his further coaching jobs, Stan and his successful record, Jimmy back on the milk run and happily married.
