MY LIFE WITHOUT ME

Spain/Canada, 2002, 106 minutes, Colour.
Sarah Polley, Amanda Plummer, Scott Speedman, Leonore Watling, Deborah Harry, Maria de Madeiros, Mark Ruffalo.
Directed by Isabel Coixet.

My Life Without Me is a moving film about death. Sarah Polley, veteran Canadian actress from childhood (and director of Away from Her with Julie Christie, about Alzheimer’s and old age) is a young wife and mother who lives in a caravan with two children and husband. When she is diagnosed with cancer, she makes a list of things that she wants to do – to live life with a passion before she dies. This involves changing her appearance, becoming more involved in life, falling in love with a man in a laundromat.

The supporting cast is very strong with Amanda Plummer as a friend, Scott Speedman and Mark Ruffalo as husband and man in the laundromat, Deborah Harry as her mother, and Iberian actresses Maria de Medeiros as the hairdresser and Leonor Watling as the neighbour.

The film is sensitively acted and written, not maudlin in any way. Direction is by Isabel Coixet, the Catalonian director who worked with Sarah Polley again in The Secret Life of Words (with Tim Robbins and Julie Christie) and who has made a film version of Philip Roth’s Elegy with Penelope Cruz and Ben Kingsley.

1. The impact of this film? A film about a woman, young woman and her life, her death? The focus on the women in the film? Mothers, neighbours, friends? Marriage and children?

2. The time of the film, the ending which says, "To Ann. This is your life without you"? Her keeping a diary? Sarah Polley as Ann, her age, experience, understanding her illness, accepting her death, keeping it secret, the journal and the preparation for death, the ten things she wanted to do before she died? Her final vision of her family and friends and what would happen to them after her death? Their lives without her?

3. The Canadian settings, the city of Vancouver, the weather, the opening with the rain, the harbour? The locations, university, hairdressers, bars? Homes, trailers? An authentic atmosphere for this story?

4. Ann at work, the menial work, the cleaning? Her discussions with her friend Laurie, Laurie's preoccupation about her weight? Her clashes with her mother, her mother minding the children, the trailer in her mother's backyard, her relationship with Don, with the children, getting up in the morning, the details of ordinary life, his job, getting the children to school, talking with her mother, putting out the washing, her father in jail?

5. Her collapse, her mother's reaction, the tests? The doctor and his giving the information, her acceptance of this? Her continued worry about somebody picking up the children as she waited at the hospital? The nurse and her sympathy - and her momentary flashback of having been abandoned and not picked up at school?

6. Her decision about how she would treat her death, going to work, continuing with her friends? Inviting Laurie to dinner and all the comedy about what she could eat, not eat, Don and the children's reaction? Her clashes with her mother, her mother watching movies like Mildred Pierce? Her children and her love for them? The hairdresser and her eccentricities, the bonds of real friendship? Her wanting someone to love, the encounter with Lee at the Laundromat, meeting him at the diner, their shared interests, discussions, his being out of work, architect, going to his apartment, his lack of furniture? The continued meetings, the lovemaking? The effect on her, the possibility of loving someone else besides her husband, the effect on him and his dependence on her? His not knowing her illness? Her still loving her husband - and his continued devotion?

7. The development of her illness, her cover for taking the medical help? The reasons for the illness? Don and his care for her at home, the regime, rest? His picking her up from her rendezvous whenever she rang?

8. The sketches of the supporting characters and their giving some depth and authenticity to the story: Laurie and her diets, co-working, eccentric, the visits? The hairdresser, her style, friendship? Ann next door, her being a friendly neighbour, the children, the strong bonds with Ann in her illness, her talking about children, suffering and death? Ann seeing her as a possible wife for Don? The visits, the shared experiences? Lee, his background, out of work, loving her, dependent?

9. Her death, her letter to everyone, seeing them at her deathbed and indicating all that they meant to her?

10. Her death at the age of twenty-three, a short life, fullness of life, the achievement during life?

11. The insight into the character of Ann, a young woman, wife, mother, seeker? Audience empathy for her - an emotional response rather than being manipulated?