THANKS FOR SHARING
US, 2012, 117 minutes, Colour.
Mark Ruffalo, Tim Robbins, Josh Gad, Gwyneth Paltrow, Joely Richardson, Patrick Fugit, Carol Kane.
Directed by Stuart Blumberg.
A film from Hollywood about self-control? Not likely. About self-control and sex? Even less likely. But, here it is, Thanks for Sharing. And a good film too. About sex addiction.
2011 saw Michael Fassbinder locked into sexual addiction in the deadly serious Shameless. Thanks for sharing alerts audiences to AA and 12-step programs. The central characters here are in such a program for sexual addiction.
Director and co-writer, Stuart Blomberg, takes a less deadly approach than Shameless. It has a lot of humour in it and its characters display greater humanity. It is well-written, taking us into the minds and feelings of its characters which leads to some sympathy, if not empathy, and some insight about the experience of sexual addiction. It takes us into meetings with the self-consciousness, the desperation, the listening, the support. It also shows us the demands made on sponsors: phone calls at low points, being direct with each other, and the strains when the sponsor is also an addict.
There are three central characters, very well played. The main focus is Adam, a business executive who appears competent and charming but has been wracked by past excessive behaviour and the constant temptations. He shows how self-control can be maintained but how fragile this can be. It is interesting to note that he and the others use the word ‘sober’ to describe how long they have been fall-free. Adam is played by Mark Ruffalo, sometimes intense, at other times mastering his situation. Some redemption appears in the form of Phoebe. Both are attracted to each other, enjoy each other’s company. She reveals she has had breast cancer. He cannot reveal the truth. Much of the drama of the film comes from his avoiding the situation and how each confronts the situation when it is revealed. Phoebe is played by Gwynneth Paltrow in a welcome return to the screen.
Adam’s sponsor, Mike, is played by Tim Robbins, with 15 years sobriety. A builder, he gives job opportunities to addicts to build up confidence but has to take responsibility when they crash. Joely Richardson plays his long-suffering wife. Particularly telling is the sub-plot with Mike’s son (a good performance by Patrick Fugit), alienated, some time in prison, returning to reconcile but falling foul of Mike’s dominance despite efforts to bond with his son. The scene where the son asks for an apology from his father for the treatment he received while Mike was so drunk is quite powerful, a reminder of an alcoholic parents responsibility for the damage to a child.
The third character is a young doctor, Neil (Josh Gad, Steve Wozniak in Jobs). His story begins somewhat farcically, being a boorish, overweight hitter on women. Mike doesn’t like him. Adam has difficulty in being his sponsor. He has the disadvantage of an overbearing Jewish mother (Carol Kane). However, his struggles and falls, his attempts to find self-control become more interesting, especially when he interacts with another addict, Dede (Alecia Moore/Pink), puts himself out to come to her help and she enables him to be better.
Most people know of sexual addiction from headlines where celebrities have gone into rehab. Thanks for sharing is an opportunity to get to know people and their addictions through their lives rather than through theory. These are middle-class people, to that extent ordinary. The tough struggle (illustrated more graphically towards the end of the film than earlier) dramatizes for outsiders to addiction what the experience, illness, can be like.
All bows are not neatly tied at the end, but the perspective is definitely one of help for others – and some hope.
1. A film about the sex addiction? Self-control? 12 Step programs? Struggle, hope?
2. The New York story, three focus characters, plus a range of people? The 12 Step characters at meetings? The musical score?
3. The intercut stories, dramatics of each story and building tension? Conclusions? The three walking along the streets? Audiences having shared their experiences?
4. The title, response of people at the 12 Step meetings, the meetings and the members, the procedures, the introduction to members, the talking, people listening, reactions?
5. The role of sponsors and their experience, the demands, phone calls at all hours, needing to go to meet people, phone messages and answering machines? Crises, responsibilities? As visualized in Mike, in Adam?
6. The focus on Adam, his age and experience, his executive work? Mike as his sponsor? Sober for five years? A serious man, seeing him at prayer, his understanding of prayer and seeking the transcendent? At meetings, his battles? Friendship with Mike, at the table with Mike and Neil, taking on Neil and being sponsor? The nature of his work? The pressures on him, the issue of dating, not having television or a laptop? Visiting Washington, television taken out of the room? The bug party, his preparation, meeting Phoebe, the conversation, the attraction, the date, meeting and riding bikes, his finding it hard going? Phoebe and her explanation of her cancer and her response? Her not wanting any addicts in her life? The sexual response, Adam wanting to go slow? The DC dinner by Skype, her puzzle about the TV? Phoebe and her fads, food, exercise, preparing for the triathlon? The touch of the perfect? The meal with Adam, Brenda coming, Phoebe raising her eyebrows? Accidentally finding what the truth was, a sobriety medal? His reaction, Phoebe’s response, her wanting to test his phone call at 2:00 AM, the harsh things he said to her? The effect on him, going downhill, leaving messages for Mike, Washington, DC and the prostitutes? Calling Brenda, her sado-masochistic behaviour? Collapse, his phoning Neill, Niel’s help, reassurance? The shock to his system? Meeting Phoebe, the talk, her admitting she had changed, their friendship and the possible relationship? At the meeting with Mike, with Neil, at the table and Neil’s medal? Walking down the street?
7. Mike, serious, his age, 15 years sober, life at home, the relationship with Katie, through thick and thin? His sponsoring Adam? His work, giving the addict a chance at building, the breakdown, Mike going with Daniel, taking financial responsibilities? The phone calls? Daniel coming home, thinking he was a burglar, the story of the past, Mike’s drinking, Daniel and his suffering, the drugs, stealing, for his mother, the prison term? MiKe? amazed that there was no apology? Daniel preparing breakfast? Digging in the garden, the noisy neighbour and telling him off? The bond between the two, the wrestling, inviting Daniel to meetings, his help? Daniel returning the necklace? Being late for dinner and his father upset? The disappearance of the pills, Mike’s confronting his son, Daniel leaving, Katie and her reaction, upset, driving in search for his son, the news and hospital, going to see his son, the truth, weeping, the reconciliation? The issue of an apology to Daniel because of how he treated him during his childhood when drunk? Making the stone for Neil and giving it to him?
8. Neill, his age, weight, as a doctor, laughing at the patient and his small anatomy? His own behaviour, coming up to the woman on the subway, her hitting him? Adam as his sponsor, his not filling in the book and his making excuses, Adam’s reaction and not wanting to help him? His behaviour at the meeting, his cracking jokes, not getting a stone from Mike, needing to earn it? At work, the complaints, police supervision, at home, his sexual frustration, masturbation, the pornography? Ringing Adam, hurrying to a meeting, not allowed on the subway, going in the taxi? His lying at the meetings about his success? Filming his boss and her firing him? Going to visit his mother, her domination, not telling her? Dede at the meeting, listening to her, her response to Neil, the phone number? Her phone call and his taking the taxi, running to help her, his asking her sensible questions on the phone and leading her through the process? Helping outside the house? Her taking him to the dance, his being persuaded to loosen up, the physical release? Riding the bike, the pink, the taunts, the bike stolen? His improving, his health, weight? Dede and her helping to clean the house, burning the pornography? His going to see his mother? Getting a stone from Mike? Content?
9. Dede, her appearance, the history of her sexual life and her addiction, with boys, with the teacher, with her friend’s father? Talking things through at the meeting, the friendship with Neil, the phone number? Her frank self-image? Outside the house, calling meal, his hurrying to help, his calming her down, enabling her to get through the crisis? Her gratitude? Going to the dance? Suggesting that he clean up his apartment, helping, burning the pornography?
10. The addicts at the meetings, talking heads and the range of people, men and women, class, race, issues?
11. The addict working for Mike, his gratitude, his collapse at the insult of the owner, going over the top, Mike and Daniel coming, Mike taking care of him?
To hospital?
12. The chance for the audience to understand something of sex addiction? Keeping the frank visuals to later in the film, with a lot of struggles and failures? A film for audiences unfamiliar with sex addiction? And for those who are supporters of sex addicts?
