BIG ASS SPIDER

US, 2013, 80 minutes, Colour.
Greg Grunberg, Lomabardo Boyar, Clare Kramer, Ray Wise, Lin Shaye, Patrick Bauchau.
Directed by Mike Mendez.

You may not want to be seen walking into Big Ass Spider. Apart from the use of the word, Ass, who wants to be seen going into one of those old-fashioned animal menace, spider-menace, films from the 1950s and 60s? Well, rest assured that if you are a fan of this kind of film, you won’t be disappointed. Of its kind, it is very enjoyable and rather well done.

The film is something of a homage to those old movies like Tarantula… But, it is also something of a spoof, a pleasing parody of the conventions of this kind of film. And, it is blessed with dialogue which is a good blend of the witty and the deadpan, as well as conventional characters who are cardboard in their way, but do have a bit more life than the usual. Some have complained of the artificiality of the special effects – however, these are done quite well, and what do you expect in this kind of B-budget spoof?

The central character is a good-natured post-exterminator (Greg Grunberg) whom we see in action, helping literally clinging old lady to get rid of her mouse and paid, as always, with fruitcake! But he is bitten by a spider and goes to hospital where he encounters a dire situation, a morgue attendant bitten by a spider and physically deteriorating. Our hero volunteers to examine the situation and gets the help of the Hispanic security guard (Lombardo Boyar), who provides a lot of the verbal humour and deadpan reactions. They are a kind of odd couple, a contemporary B-budget movie Don Quixote and Sancho Panza.

Then the army arrives, ultra-serious. An experiment (as always!) has gone wrong. The scientist is there to help out but with his wordy explanations, he gets in the way and is ousted. There is also a very efficient woman officer who seems, at the beginning, an unlikely romantic contact – but, of course,…

The film is not particularly gory, but has enough jumps, shocks, grimace-making sequences that are not overly disturbing for any audience. The spider keeps on quadrupling itself and eventually finishes up, like King Kong in New York, straddling a skyscraper in Los Angeles.

The film has received distribution in horror festivals and Monsterfest screenings. As far as it goes, it is a pretty good example of this kind of enjoyably exploitative creature film.


1. Expectations? The title, the tone? Serious/spoof?

2. The tradition of spider and animal menace films, animal attack, science and mutations? Audience response? Military? Individual heroes? How did this 21st century spider film draw on these traditions? Pay homage? Utilise them? Spoof?

3. The director, his editing the film, pace? The story, the flashbacks, the fear, the explanations, the build-up, shocks, confrontations and dangers, heroics?

4. The screenplay, judging well between the serious and the comic, the issue, the characters, the hero and his sidekick, the romantic element, the combination of these, the visual jokes, the one-liners, satire, larger-than-life?

5. Alex, at the start, stunned, his face, the crowds fleeing, the giant spider, on the building?

6. Alex as a character, exterminator, going to the old lady, her clinging to him, payment in fruit cake? His being bitten? Going to the hospital, flirting with the nurse, her blunt rebuffs?

7. The morgue, the attendant, the corpse, moving under the sheet, the bite? The manager trying to control the situation? Alex, his bill, offering to confront the situation?

8. Alex and his meeting Jose, security, the Mexican, his use of language, not understanding every word? The banter between the two? Alex going into the roof?

9. The arrival of the military, the takeover, the officer in command at his seriousness, Karly and her being the assistant, Alex and the attraction?

10. The military and the screens, visualising the attacks, the weaponry available?

11. The scientist, old, with the military, his long explanation and the reaction of Alex and Jose, the quadrupling of the spider, the various stages, reproduction?

12. The spider and its growth, prowling the hospital, killing the patient in his room and his attempts to save himself, its moving out, going to the park, the old man looking up into the tree, all the picnickers, the pursuit, the web and cocooning the victims, devouring them? The deadpan presentation of this news on the television, the anchors, the commentary?

13. The invasion of Los Angeles? Alex and Jose, links with the military, being put off, Karly and her being saved in the woods, the military getting rid of the scientist, the truth of the situation, Alex and his determination, the pursuit, the destruction of their van?

14. In the city, Karly being taken, in the upper storey, the pods, the birth of the spiders?

15. Alex, the plann with Jose, the weaponry, going up in the lift, the attack, freeing the people, freeing Karly?

16. Facing the spider, its fall from the top of the building, crashing into the street, seemingly dead? The military self-congratulations? Alex and his happiness?

17. The spider reviving, Jose with the rocket, Alex firing it into the spider, destruction? The happy ending, romantic?

18. The phone call about the size of a cockroach? The playing of La Cucuracha?