CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT

US, 1992, 100 minutes, Colour.
Dyan Cannon, Kris Kristofferson, Tony Curtis, Richard Roundtree.
Directed by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

If the audience was asked to guess which action director made this comic farce, probably no one would suggest Arnold Schwarzenegger. But he did. (And there is a Terminator joke when the young boy looking like the Terminator says ‘I’ll be back’; Schwarzenegger directed this film at the time he was making Terminator two and Kindergarten Cop.)

This is a remake of the 1940s comedy of the same name with Barbara Stanwyck. It is certainly updated into the late 20th century television era.

Dyan Cannon, in sprightly and romantic comic vein, is a top television cook. And then we see that she knows very little about cooking and it is all done by her staff who are able to put it on the set surreptitiously to enhance her reputation. Her producer is played by an over-ventilating Tony Curtis. By contrast, Kris Kristofferson plays the outdoor type, becoming a national figure in his rescuing of a young boy trapped in a mountain fire. The complication of the plot is that the producer organises a Christmas show where Dyan Cannon will cook a meal for Kris Kristofferson – whose house burned down while he is away and one of the only things found was one of her cookbooks.

Most of the comedy is in the preparation for the TV show, the setting up of the fake family, their own personal crises and interactions, the over-zealous work of the producer who wants to appear as the cook’s husband. In the meantime, the guest arrives early and is attracted towards the cook.

The climax of the comedy is in the mayhem of the actual production where so many things go wrong, where the head of the network, Richard Roundtree, turns up and the director becomes exasperated by everything. And everything includes the cook confessing all on-screen. But the programs ratings go through the roof – but the cook and the outdoor man find love and she will go and rebuild his house with him.

A light-hearted broad comedy and farce for Christmas celebrations.

1. The original film in the 1940s, adapted to the 1990s into the television age?

2. The television studio settings, the details of the cooking programs, the assistance during the cooking, the presentation on screen, audiences and enjoying cooking shows? The prospect of the Christmas special with the star cook and the hero of the hour?

3. The Connecticut setting, the house, the contrast with Elizabeth’s apartment in New York City, the winter, the snow?

4. Jefferson Jones and his home, being called out, his rescue of the boy lost for so many hours, the television coverage, his becoming a national celebrity? And his house burning down? In the debris, finding the toothbrush, and Elizabeth’s cookbook? The invitation to do the program, his accepting it to get the money to rebuild his house? His being invited early by Alex and his arriving early?

5. Elisabeth, single, not domesticated at all, program, her home, buying the knickknacks, costly? Her elegant home and furnishings, the hamburger meal? The proposal about the program? And not wanting to do it?

6. Assembling the fake family, the couple with the baby and handling the baby on and off screen, Anthony becoming Kevin, his being absolutely obnoxious, wanting the money, eating, clashing with Alex, kicking him? And his vomiting behind the Christmas tree?

7. Josie, the faithful friend, the skillet cooking, her husband, his job handing out leaflets, his preparing for the audition, not wanting to come and be the son-in-law? His being persuaded? His preparation for his part, the serial killer, talk of vampires? Alex and his being upset, seeing him with the baby and threatening lines? Josie in the van and the crash?

8. Jefferson Jones and his coming to terms with the group, believing everything, attracted to Elizabeth, going out for the walk with Alex and Alex’s attempt to explain everything plausibly? Going out with Elizabeth to shoot the goose, her dread? His giving her advice about her marriage, yet kissing her? Going out in the coach, being taken by the police?

9. The owner of the network, his arrival, being caught up in the mayhem? Firing everyone?

10. The taping of the show, the director and his growing exasperation, being mystified, the continuity girl and her inability to help? Sally missing? Alex coming on as a husband and freezing, unable to perform?

11. Elizabeth, handling the situation, moving from room to room, the goose in the oven, not cooked, the continued problems? Mixing the flapjack material after her surprise success in flinging it?

12. The decision to tell the truth, after explaining all the family, then saying who they all were, the fact that she could not cook, her comments to Jefferson, his bewilderment?

13. Alex and his trying to help the cause, failing? Elizabeth and her being free and happy? Getting the baby back, explaining who the couple were, the husband and his audition to camera, and Jefferson glad that she was not married?

14. The visit of the owner and Alex, the high ratings, wanting further programs? Elizabeth refusing, going to Colorado to rebuild his house with Jefferson?