MEN, WOMEN & CHILDREN

US, 2014, 190 minutes, Colour.
Adam Sandler, Jennifer Garner, Rosemarie De Witt, Judy Greer, Dean Norris, Timothee Chalamet, Olivia Crocicchia, Kaitlyn Dever, Ansel Elgort, Denis Haysbert. Narrated by Emma Thompson.
Directed by Jason Reitman.

There is a paragraph in Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl which describes the consciousness of the social media generation, that they have little idea of how life was before Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and all the other media that they take for granted and use continuously, even excessively. The consciousness and behaviour of the younger generation is something of a mystery to their parents and teachers.

This is what this particular film is about, but it focuses particularly on the sexuality consequences of social media, the availability of pornography to children at a young age, the potential for addiction – while not letting off the adult generation who take advantage of the Internet, also for pornography as well as for dating sites. Hence the title being all-inclusive.

At first, the film might seem quite depressing to an adult audience, watching the self-indulgent behaviour of parents, their double standards as regards their children, as well as seeing the children involved so early in visiting pornographic sites with consequences for their own emotions, even lack of ability for intimacy.

Audiences might be put off by the explicit references. Because this is a real problem, a more robust sensitivity should lead audiences to face these situations. Ultimately, as with most American films, characters go through crises, in this film some more desperate than usual, but come to some kind of understanding, even hope.

The film focuses on four families, the children all going to the same school and providing interconnections for the plot.

The film uses an unusual device, a cosmic reflection on the place of our planet and human beings in the vastness of the universe. It uses the Voyager journey into space, carrying memorabilia of Earth. The focus is on the writings of Carl Sagan, the film ending with a quotation a bout his view about Earth being just a dot in the universe. Further, there is a narration throughout the film, observing the mundane realities as well as the cosmic dimensions – and it is spoken, often frankly and bluntly, with the perfect British diction and clarity of Emma Thompson.

The main focus is on the parents of a 15-year-old boy, Dan. His parents are played by Adam Sandler (bearded and giving a serious performance with no hints of his usual comic style) and Rosemary De Witt. The father cannot access the Internet on his own computer and goes to his son’s, shocked to find that the boy has accessed many porn sites. And the father himself, sexually needy, visits these sites as well as an escort site which he follows up. His wife, bored, also goes to the computer for dating sites, following through with some dire consequences.

Dan has one of the main cheerleaders, Hannah, as a girlfriend. She supports him as he plays football. She is the daughter of a single mother, Judy Greer, who is living her life through her daughter, photographing her, often in suggestive poses and placing these on a website for her daughter. She urges her to participate in auditions for a reality show. In the meantime, Hannah boasts (lies) to her girlfriends about her sexual exploits with an older man, but then finds that Dan has been affected by his site-trawling and is impotent at his young age, responding only to the pornography.

In quite a different family, Patricia (Jennifer Garner) is a very strict mother, monitoring every move of her daughter, Brandy. Patricia examines her daughter’s computer every day as well as checking on all the calls on her mobile phone. Brandy is something of a loner, though she has also set up a website with bizarre photos of herself. Tim (Ansel Elgort) is a lonely young man, top footballer who refuses to play the game, to the contempt of the rest of the team. His mother has abandoned him and his father (Dean Norris) and announces a new engagement on Facebook rather than direct information to her former husband and her son. Tim and Brandy get on very well together, talking genuinely, true friends – until Patricia intervenes cruelly with sad consequences.
In the meantime, there is Allison, also a cheerleader, who believes Hannah’s stories. She is anorexic, has a crush on a boy, follows it through – again with some dreadful consequences for her to the shock of her father (J.K.Simmons).

As can be seen, there are quite a lot of characters, quite a lot of situations that demand attention and reflection.

This is certainly not the last word on the problems of social media and the consequences on young people’s ability for communication, their lack of communication, their sexual obsessions, the consequences for genuine relationships and intimacy. But, within its two-hour running time, it does raise many questions, implying that there should be authentic responses and hope for integrity.

1. A mirror to contemporary life? Distorted, ugly, exasperating? The film moving to moralising and understanding, hope?

2. The American city, homes, school, football, the corridors, restaurants, hospitals? For an American audience to identify with the characters and situations? Non- Americans? Songs, musical score?

3. The cosmic framework, Carl Sagan, Voyager going into space and beyond? The years of the voyage, the distance, the cargo of memoirs? The perspective on Earth, on humanity, the small dot in the universe? The final poem? Humans alone in the universe, no help from beyond?

4. The narration by Emma Thompson, her British accent and crisp diction, commenting on ordinary things, her straightforward descriptions of crass behaviour?

5. Patricia’s story? Her quiet husband, her love for her daughter, Brandy? A caricature – but possibly like this in real life? Wanting to protect her daughter, by any means? Life at home, her being busy, the computer, her daughter’s phone, censoring the communication? Her threats? Her being deceived? Her brutal text to Tim? The consequences?

6. Brandy, her age, tending to be alone, her relationship with her mother, her father? Her exasperation? Her website and the odd photos of herself? At home, the meals, talk? Tim coming to sit with her? Together, their talking, the bonding, a good effect on Tim? His texting her and her mother replying? Her cycling to Tim, discovering the pills, at the hospital, leaning on him in the hospital and her mother seeing her?

7. Tim, his mother leaving the family, his staying in touch through Facebook, seeing the information about her engagement? Kent, his feelings, being deserted, pressure on his son? Tim not wanting to play football, his anger, the fag comments from the others, the fight in the dining room defending Brandy, going to the counsellor, the counsellor asking him about his beliefs, his cosmic answers? The computer game, his spending a long time aat the game and his growing expertise, the friends on the computer, his father looking at the program, the sexist jokes and his defence of them? His desperation, texting Brandy, his response to the reply, taking the pills, saved, hospital?

8. Hannah’s story? Glamorous cheerleader, boasting about her sexual adventures, lies, sex with the older man and the fellatio? Her mother, encouraging her, the poses and photos, her relationship with Dan, on the football field, cheerleading, the sexual encounter, his impotence, the break, the discussions with him? The television audition? The video and Dan editing it? Her mother, pushing her, the phone call, taking down the website, her mother’s strong stance?

9. Hannah’s mother, fostering her daughter’s ambition, living through her, the excitement? The phone call, the discussions about the pictures on the site, her taking it down? Confronting her daughter? Her daughter’s anger, calling her a bitch? Meeting Kent, going out with him, confessing to him, his stunned reaction, her needing him, together at the end?

10. Don and Helen’s story? The years of marriage, Don and sexual addiction, going to his son’s computer, discovering his son’s files? His own behaviour, wanting to talk with his son, just as his father talked with him when he discovered his father’s magazines? Masturbation? Helen not responding? Tentative relationship? Consulting the computer, Don and the escort, meeting at the hotel, the sexual encounter, the discussions, lying quietly with her? Ending this relationship? Helen, bored, going online, the dating site, the encounter and the sexual response, others, her lies about her sister? Don seeing her? The night after, his preparing breakfast, his philosophical attitude, mistakes on both sides leaving the past going to the future?

11. Dan, 15, his life in the family, at school, football, relationship with girls, Hannah? Age 10 and the experience of pornography, his addiction, the sites, their violence, masturbation, impotent in his relationship with Hannah? Coming to terms with this? Hannah and Dan and interviewing their parents about 9/11, the shock to discover there was no texting in those days?

12. Allison, anorexia, listening to Hannah, a cheerleader, the stern father? The shepherd’s pie, the smell while eating celery? The sexual obsession, sexual encounter, the casual young man, her reaction, collapse, the ectopic pregnancy, her parents’ reaction? Texting, the stone through his window?

13. The picture of teenagers, the influence of the social media, pornography, losing a sense of intimacy and relationship? Adults, marriages collapsing, sexual needs, indulgence?

14. The point being made by the references to RL, texting Real Life, the virtual world compared with action in the real world?