HOLDING THE MAN

Australia, 2015, 125 minutes, Colour.
Ryan Corr, Craig Stott, Anthony La Paglia, Kerry Fox, Guy Pearce, Camilla Ah Kin, Geoffrey Rush, Jane Menelaus, Sarah Snook.
Directed by Neil Armfield.

Holding the Man is a widely-reed Australian biography by Tim Conigrave, published in the mid-1990s and soon afterwards developed into a play by Tommy Murphy. Murphy has now written a screenplay from the book which has been directed by Neil Armfield who has a strong reputation as a theatre director.

This is a story of a relationship which began when two senior students were studying at the Jesuit Xavier College in Melbourne.(The football matches were filmed at the college itself.) Tim Conigrave is something of a flamboyant student at school, involved in theatricals, but becoming more and more infatuated with a top soccer player, John Caleo. John came from a strong Catholic, Italian-Australian? family, one of four siblings. Tim made his affections known, a young man more sexually aware, John being rather more hesitant. Eventually, they made a commitment to each other, known to some of the other boys, eventually known to the parents with hostile reactions, especially from John’s father.

The film is very well made, very well-acted, topical in many ways with discussions about same-sex relationships and commitment, acceptance in Australian society or not, understanding of homosexual orientation, and discussions, for instance, in the Catholic church, in connection with the Synod on the Family in Rome in 2014 in 2015.

Because the relationship between the two boys and developed in the late 1970s and throughout the 1980s, the issue of HIV also becomes significant, especially towards the beginning of the 1990s when both of the men tested positive.

Ryan Corr as Tim Conigrave and Craig Stott as John Caleo give quite persuasive performances, Ryan Corr having the showier character much more extroverted, and Craig Stott having to communicate the character of John Caleo more subtly and quietly. We see them change over a period of 15 years, the relationship at school with a scene of discussion with one of the Jesuit teachers at Xavier College. The screenplay moves to the mid 1980s, with Tim auditioning for NIDA and doing the course for an acting career, going to Sydney, while John stays in Melbourne and becomes a chiropractor.

The film then goes back to the late 1970s, early 1980s, with the two men as students at Monash University, coming out more explicitly, members of the gay club at the University, finding a home and friends within the gay community as well as experiencing prejudice and bashings. It is in this context that both men have to face the issue of committed relationships, of the possibilities other partners and relationships, Tim being much more of an experimenter, John not.

The last part of the film is set in the 1990s with John becoming seriously ill, Tim becoming involved in AIDS care, committed to helping John in his illness and in his death.

The parents of each man have been mentioned, but they are central to the film and the producers have chosen strong screen presences to dramatise the parents. Guy Pearce and Kerry Fox are the Conigraves, and Anthony La Paglia and Camilla Ah Kin are the Caleos. (Quite a number of Australian character actors have small cameos, sometimes walk on parts, like Kerry Walker and Julie Forsyth, Sarah Snook as a close friend, while Geoffrey Rush has some scenes as the drama lecturer at NIDA.) It is Anthony La Paglia who has the most significant scenes, discovering the reality of the relationship, mightily disapproving, ousting his son, having to face up to the reality of the relationship, having to cope with his son’s illness and death.

The film is of Catholic interest because of the two boys and their Catholic families, their schooling at Xavier College, the discussion about the relationship with the Jesuit teacher, Mary Conigrave, Tim’s sister, having a Catholic wedding with the priest at the reception and, the priest who conducted the Requiem Mass and the funeral for John Caleo, Father Woods, played by Paul Goddard, seen making comments about how he would refer to the relationship during the mass, describing them as friends, not mentioning AIDS, given the sensibilities and family and friends’ awareness and non-awareness of the situations in 1994.

Holding the Man takes its place as a significant Australian film and one which gives significant opportunity for reflection and discussion, wherever one stands on the issues.

1. Well-known story in Australia? Reputation? The published biography, the play, now a film?

2. The Australian atmosphere, the city of Melbourne, Sydney? Universal interest and appeal?

3. The period, 1976 – 1994? Recapturing the period, Australian society, close-knit families, school, Catholicism, the Catholic school, changes? Monash University and gay clubs? NIDA and auditions, classes? The AIDS period, medical checks, hospitals and treatment? The funeral and the church? The musical score, the blend of sacred music, popular music and songs of the time?

4. Issues of homosexuality in the 1970s? Public attitudes, with ordinary people, with the church, illegal behaviour? The variety of reactions? Change during the 1980s, the impact of AIDS? The bashings? people coming out? Acceptance? The nature of relationships, commitment, the 1980s and promiscuity? The gay people and theatre? The hospital sequences and the ranges of men with AIDS?

5. The perspective of Tim Conigrave, his memoir, the opening in Italy, the phone call to Pepe, the question about where John was at the table? The flashback? The return to Italy after John’s death? The origins of the family? Tim upset with his memory, going for the swim, the phone call, getting the message, his voice-over, flirting with the waiter? Writing the book? His death?

6. The picture of two homosexual men, their orientation, the reactions of society, condemnation, acceptance? The picture of mutual love? Tim, his orientation, attracted to John, watching the football, in the geography class, inviting him to the play? John not coming? The phone calls at meal time? Tim giving the note, the boys taking it, the teacher taking it in class? The meeting with the Jesuit, his talk about the situation, in the school? The attitude of the Jesuit’s? Tim, his interest in theatre, the rehearsal of Romeo and Juliet, Paris, the teacher urging him to imagine passion? Tim and his proposing to John, John accepting, the sexual advance and John finding it too quick? Tim saying that love was more important than the sexual experience? Their being together, friendship and love? Tim invited to the meal at the Caleo’s? The father thanking him for bringing John out of himself? Going on the camp, playing cards, the decision to streak through the streets? The sexual encounter, the boys’ reactions? The relationship and the development? The relationship lasting 15 years despite Tim’s behaviour and his absence in Sydney?

7. The parents, the Conigraves, ordinary Catholics, going to Xavier, a Jesuit school? The later wedding And Tim’s adverse comments on the church? His sister wanting a church wedding, the presence of the priest? The contrast with the Caleos, Italian, the four children? The initial welcome? The father reading Tim’s note, visiting the Coniraves, Mr Conigraves confronting Tim? The different stances and the effect?

8. Tim, the theatre, Romeo and Juliet, the teacher, passion, the performance, his wanting to study acting?

9. John, his skill at soccer, champion athlete, the award? The injury, Tim visiting John in hospital, writer and the cast? The strong?

10. The timeshift in 1986, Tim and theatre, joining and his chiropractor work? The relationships, tested, the possibilities for’s aids, the diagnosis and 14, the apology, the effect of being positive, prospects?

11. The return to 1979, Monash University, the gay clubs, the bar, gays and lesbians together, autograph and his commitment? Tim asking for permission for further relationships and connections? Tim not willing? The later information Tim was positive in his blood donation in 1981?

12. At the holiday house, Tim being present, the confrontation with his father, his mother warning John to get Tim to go? The confrontation, John leaving and standing up to his father? Mr Caleo and the later confrontation with Tim, especially about the will, each leaving their possessions to the other – but what in case of death? The car et cetera?

13. The preparations for the wedding, Tim’s mother and her reading the letter and the diagnosis? In the kitchen, discussion, preparing for the wedding? The wedding itself, the priest, the dance, Tim’s father the dancing with him? The parents dancing together?

14. The 1990s, illness, the changes, the tests, John and his being positive, AIDS, his lungs? Tim and his giving up acting and doing AIDS work? The response of the doctors? Tim’s eyes blurring? Together, the visits, Tim’s presence and care? Johns father, and going to the house with Tim, the Christmas gifts and the exchange?

15. The final sexual encounter, the realism of the sexuality in the film, fondling, Tim’s masturbation with the picture of the band, kissing, the sexual encounters, experimentation, in the car? At the end?

16. The tableau of the dying, the parents, Tim’s presence, John expiring?

17. The discussion with Fr Woods, whether homosexuality and partnership should be mentioned? The ceremony, Fr Woods’ words, Tim’s mother’s reaction?

18. The postscript about the book, and the final words of Tim Conigrave himself after the final credits?