THE MAN OF THE HOUSE

US, 2005, 100 minutes, Colour.
Tommy Lee Jones, Cedric the Entertainer, Christina Milian, Kelli Garner, Annd Archer, Brian van Holt, R. Lee Ermey.
Directed by Steven Herek.

There is no real need to see this one – not even on a plane.

Five Texan cheerleaders witness a murder. After a short time, the unkind thought enters one’s strained and impatient mind that the plot might have been better had they been the victims. For most of the film most of them behave in a murderable fashion. One is inclined to agree strongly with Tommy Lee Jones, who is the Ranger assigned to protect them, every time he refuses them their petty and selfish requests and realises how dumb they are. Of course, you know that by the end of the film they will all be great friends and that the girls will have saved the day. That is what happens – though it does not save the film.

There is a complicated plot about a corrupt Texan businessman, his henchman killing off his debtors and a bad apple FBI agent who is the actual murderer and threatens the girls. There is a fairly preposterous showdown on the highway on the Mexican border.

It should be mentioned that this is meant to be more of a comedy than a thriller, with Tommy Lee Jones posing as a cheerleader coach to maintain cover and having to deal with the girls and their dumb comments and behaviour. He also gets to romance Anne Archer with beauty treatment help (to little avail) from the girls. Some of the complaints about the film are that its portrayal of the girls is sexist. But, there is a little homily on cheerleading and its importance for enthusing and inspiring.

That is what the film is not – enthusing and inspiring.