DON'T EVER WIPE TEARS WITHOUT GLOVES

Sweden, 2012, 175 minutes, Colour.
Adam Lundgren, Adam Pallson, Bjorn Kellman, Simon J.Berger,
Directed by Simon Kaijser.

The title is a cautionary one – but also a reminder of the attitudes and behaviour at the first emerging of AIDS.

The film was made as a miniseries for Swedish television. It has a voice-over of the central character reflecting on his experience. The film can be compared with the various films about AIDS, especially from the United States in the 1980s and 1990s. It also can be compared with the French film, the award-winning BPM, Beats per Minute, the French experience of the 1980s onwards.

The film was also a portrait of a homosexual man, the strict religious background, his wanting to move out from his home, encountering other gay men in Stockholm, the beginnings of a relationship, its development, the issue of AIDS, infection, illness and death.

While the men presented are sympathetic, the film also offers material for reflection for an older generation, the parent generation, the sympathetic mother of the dying man, the reaction of the father afterwards and their preventing his lover from attending his funeral, the difficulty of dealing with AIDS, the challenge of compassion, the pervasive homophobia.

1. The title? AIDS? Doctors and nurses, care of patients, blood, tears? Their own tears and sadness? The 1980s, the aftermath? In Sweden?

2. Comparisons with other AIDS films, about sufferers, doctors, medical research, protests? In the retrospect of 2012?

3. The history of AIDS, Swedish experience, suffering, illness, deaths, funerals? Grief? Empathy from the public or not?

4. The voice-over, the older Benjamin, his opinions about Stockholm, the men gathering their, sexual permissiveness, the homosexual community, the reactions of ordinary people, ignoring the situation?

5. Rasmus, ill, hospital, dying, the graphic sequences of his suffering and death? Intercut throughout the film?

6. Benjamin and Rasmus as children, Benjamin and his Jehovah Witness family, religious, the meetings, not celebrating Christmas, a devout household? The contrast with Rasmus, his parents, out in the fields, action, tracing his name, growing up?

7. Stockholm, sexual activity, Rasmus, leaving home, leaving his parents, his life, the life in Stockholm, apartments, groups, clubs?

8. Rasmus, eager, 19, train, his aunt and the apartment, in the streets and looking at the men, the men gathering for pickups? The encounter with Paul? Rasmus and his studies, going out for pickups, the man and the encounter with the man with the cyst on his back? Gay life? Friendship with Paul, his home, friends, Christmas celebrations?

9. Benjamin, on mission, the visit to Paul, Paul’s blunt declaration about Benjamin’s homosexuality? The effect, going home, not able to admit this to his family? Sense of secrecy? His religious training? Going to the parties at Paul’s, Paul in denial about AIDS, meeting the friends, contrast at home? Meeting Rasmus? The relationship, Benjamin’s parents, his being away from home, Paul and his jokes about Jehovah Witnesses? His preparation for his speech, giving it, the decision to give up his mission? The reaction of his parents, his sister, the elders?

10. Benjamin and Rasmus, the relationship, Benjamin’s reserve? The skinny-dipping and his briefs? The others? In hospital, care, death?

11. The group of friends, their lives, their attitudes, relationships, parties, illnesses, dying and the effect?

12. The actor, with the cast, performing Chekhov? Visiting the doctor, his report? His dilemma, his decision to hang himself? His funeral?

13. The effect on Rasmus, on Benjamin, the number of deaths, increasing, going to funerals? Paul and his reactions? Paul’s own illness, funeral, the musical, theatrical?

14. Rasmus and his parents, facing the reality about their son, the reactions, going to Stockholm, the visits to the hospital, with Benjamin?

15. Benjamin and his response to Rasmus’s death, the parents not wanting him to have anything to do with the funeral, the secrecy in the town? Benjamin being hurt?

16. The older Benjamin, remembering, the parent’s death, his visit to the town, the friend welcoming him, the grief?

17. The retrospective of the experience of AIDS? In the 80s? In Sweden?