DEAR DAD
India, 2016, 95 minutes, Colour.
Arvind Swamy, Ekavali Khanna, Himanshu Sharma, Aman Uppal.
Directed by Tanuj Bhramar.
Dear Dad is one of a number of Indian films on the theme of sexual orientation. This time it is the father of a family, facing up to his orientation with his wife, going on a trip to explain his situation to his teenage son, calling in to visit his parents, his father having suffered a stroke, sitting still and speechless. This is very much the Dear Dad of the title – although, of course, it relates to the response of his son.
As with many Indian films, there is a great emphasis on scenery, travelling through the Indian countryside, mountains, landslides, hotels on the way to the destination, an impressive building for the private school.
The audience may be just as surprised at the revelation about the orientation of the father as the characters in the film. The son is rather preoccupied with his friends, not wanting to have a talk with his father, seeing a TV celebrity on one of the stops and inviting him to come along which his father resists – although they meet later in the journey, do give him a lift, and he becomes crucial as someone who can listen sympathetically to the father and encourage the son.
The audience is invited to be empathetic to the father, acknowledging the secrecy of the past, the burden of coming out, the breaking of a marriage, issues of how to communicate with the son – and the son accepting his father’s situation but focused very much on the breakup of the family and wishing that this would not happen.
While the film is interesting in terms of the Indian situation, laws against homosexuality, its quieter dealing with the issues make it more accessible to a wider audiences internationally
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1. Indian story? Family? The 21st-century, traditions? Issues of sexuality and orientations?
2. The title, the focus on Nitin, age, marriage, the two children, genial with his children? His plan to tell his son about his orientation? His visit to his parents – and his coming out to his father? His son overhearing, reaction?
3. The Indian setting is, the affluent homes, roads and highways, contemporary India, the beauty of the countryside and mountains, the town, the hotel, the vast school and offices?
4. The issue of sexual orientation in India, in society, status in law about homosexuality?
5. Sympathetic portrait, father and son relationships, a way of dramatising the issues for the Indian audience? The impact for non-Indian audiences?
6. Nitin, his relationship with his wife, her urging him to tell their son, the little girl and her being playful, the lipstick, wilful, upset about school? Shivam, his age, wanting to be with his friends, not wanting to drive with his father? Stopping at the cafe, Shivam seeing the celebrity, getting his autograph, wanting to give him a lift but his father refusing, his sulking?
7. Stopping to see the grandmother, the grandfather and his sitting, mute, unshaven? Nitin talking to him, memories of the past, his outing himself? Shivam hearing, the angry reaction? Not so much concerned about his father but himself and changes in the family?
8. The drive, the silence, picking up the celebrity, his cheerfulness? The landslide, the roads blocked, staying at the hotel, meeting up with the friends, their staying in the room, the celebrity staying with Nitin? Nitin confiding in him, his reaction, sympathetic?
9. Shivam, with the boys, looking at the sex magazines, confiding in his friend? Homosexuality as an illness, online advice, going to the receptionist, being taken to the mystic, the discussions about homosexuality, the condemnation, the medicine to cure? Their putting it in Nitin’s drink, his being ill, the celebrity looking after him? The phone calls, Shivam phoning and telling his mother, her concern and phone call?
10. Father and son talks, trying to understand? The celebrity thinking about the story and going to visit his father after 15 years? Shivam and his going back to school?
11. Months later, Shivam and his success with his mathematics, the award, his family present, his wife and the new partner? Nitin at the back, the shouted congratulations? The discussions with the school principal? The father, telling his wife’s new partner that Shivam did not want to go out with him? Their going out on the town – Shivam talking about Nathalie, his father getting the ladder, climbing up the ladder, talking to Natalie, Shivam giving her the portrait?
12. The aftermath, the principal, her severity, shock at the situation?
13. A sympathetic portrait of a man troubled by his orientation when young, marrying his best friend but not loving her with sexual intimacy, the decision to reveal the truth, the consequences, his telling his story and audiences appreciating and understanding?
