I AM WHAT I AM/ SOBASUKU

Japan, 2022, 104 minutes, Colour.

Toko Miura, Atsuko Maeda.

Directed by Shinya Tamada.

Katsumi is 30, works in a call centre, lives at home, the rather overbearing mother anxious for her daughter to be married, pressure from her married sister – this enquired affirmation from her rather depressed father.

The theme of this film is sexuality, specifically a sexuality, a condition which affects a small percentage of the population, men and women, who feel no sexual attraction in their lives and are content with this, except for its consequent loneliness. They want to live their own lives, not without friendships, but satisfied with their own interior lives. Most people do not understand this.

Katsumi is tricked by her mother into going to an encounter with the young man and his mother, in view of a possible marriage. A friendship seems possible with much in common but, eventually, he intrudes on her sexuality. She goes to a kindergarten is very effective with children, and a past friendship from school days with a man who has outed himself. She does meet another teacher sharing the same condition as self, going on a date to the movies bracket and each going to a different film!).

Finally, Katsumi assert herself looming to the beach where she often goes to sit in quiet contemplation, by herself and her own emotional situation.

1. The declaration of the title? Identity? Sexual identity, asexual identity?
2. The Japanese setting, homes, call centres, restaurants, beaches? The musical score?
3. Katsumi, age 30, living with her parents, her pushy mother, her depressed father, the grandmother divorced three times, her pregnant sister, accusations against her husband? Katsumi, the request to learn the cello, her studies, leaving them, at the call centre? The sitting on the beach, the reappearance of this theme? Her mother urging her to marry, the shopping arrangement and the meeting with the prospective husband? Her reaction? The conversations with him? Friendly? Is one ambitions for his work? Her having eaten at the Raman restaurant? The opening, with her friend from work, the overbearing chatting men? The question about Tom Cruise, his running in The War of the Worlds, unlike the spy films running towards, this time running away? The repetitions of theme – and the finale with her running like Tom is one?
4. The issue of sexuality, asexuality? Her explanations of her situation, personal, psychological, self-sufficient, introverted?
5. The Raman restaurant man, friendship, travel together, the room, his approach, the kiss, his angry reaction? The effect on Katsumi? The encounter with Maho, school days, her breezy personality, celebrity, the porn star, anger with her father, his campaign and her interrupting it? The two comfortable together, the travels, the plan to share the apartment, her going to see an apartment, Maho and the revelation about the marriage, the effect, the invitation to give a speech of her wedding, the decision to play the cello, the playing, the applause and happiness?
6. The symbol of the cello, conversations with her father, his depression, his brightening up, his exercise, meals, relationship with his wife, talking with Katsumi about the cello, his happiness, accepting her giving it up?
7. The meal, her sister and the accusations against her husband, his explanations, the reaction of each of the family, Katsumi and her upset, her explanation about the situation?
8. Leaving the call centre, going to the school, her relationship with the children, the games, listening to their rather adult relationship problems? Her friend from the past, working with him, his outing himself?
9. The significance of the postcard presentation, Cinderella, Maho narrating, urging a different perspective, Cinderella as independent, the fulfilment was not marrying the prints? Her cutting it off, later meeting with the teacher, his not being sociable with the group, the date with the movies and each going to a different film? The discussions?
10. The title, the reality of asexual men and women, the small percentage, criticisms from straight and gay, the need for respect, emotional independence? Identity?