DIE FREMDE (WHEN YOU LEAVE)

Turkey/Germany, 2010, 119 minutes, Colour.
Directed by Feo Adalag.

A women's film in most senses. And a strong feminist film challenging some traditional Turkish attitudes towards women. It was written and directed by a woman, Feo Aladag, photographed by a woman, produced by several women and some men. At the centre is a srong performance by Sibel Kekilli.

The English title is 'When You Leave'. Umay has grown up in a family of Turks who migrated to Germany and have made their home there but are also part of the Turkish community in Berlin. Umay has married a Turk and lives in Istanbul. Her husband has violent moments against her and her little son, Cem. Umay impulsively leaves her husband and returns to Germany.

Were this a film about a western family, she and her son would probably be welcomed back. She would get a job, study and make a life with wider family support. Not here. Family honour is stained, gossip feared, the family being sidelined in the community is unthinkable. Umay is rejected by her parents, treated brutally by her older brother who has absorbed the complete male honour code and does not hesitate to hound Umay and resort to physical violence.

Umay does fend for herself but the film shows how entrenched customs can be and dramatises the dire results. Performances are convincing. We feel that we have been immersed in a difficult community. And the ending in no way lets the audience off.

1.A human and humane film? About conflict, honour, culture, religion? Prejudice?

2.The impact of the for Turkish audiences, Muslim audiences? For Germans, German Turks? A portrait of people as well as a challenge?

3.The Turkish sequences, Istanbul, the modern apartments? The countryside?

4.The contrast with Germany, the city, the mixed ethnic background, languages, customs, the strict Kurds from the Middle East brought to western Germany? The contrast with Western freedom?

5.The title and its meaning, application?

6.The framework with Acar, his following Umay, the gun, the bus and his looking out, the death?

7.The introduction to Umay, having the abortion, returning home to the family, her love for Cem, the difficulties with her husband, his anger, rebuking Cem and putting him in the cupboard, the sexual relationship, the pressure and the abuse? Her packing, leaving, the consequences?

8.The contrast with Germany, her own family, the German/Turk codes, the community, the neighbours, the consciousness of people’s reaction, gossip? The traditions, the shock to the parents and the shame for Umay’s behaviour, pressures on her, her father considering her his failure, the mother and the rebuke that Umay gave about what had happened in her life? The older brother, his being vicious, the sister and her initial support, the younger brother and the taunts of the father for him to be a man?

9.Umay and Cem, the opposition of the family, their taking Cem to pray with the men at the mosque? Her going on a visit, Acar following her? Going to her friend at the kitchen, the job application and the interview, the staff, Stipe and his attentions, awkwardness and shyness? Possibilities for a future for Umay?

10.Their being locked in, Umay hearing the plan to deport her back to Turkey, the emphasis on the rights of the father to the child? Her phoning Emergency, the police coming, their taking Umay and Cem to the shelter, the welcome by the director? Safety, security, her going down into the kitchen, looking around, feeling safe? The rules, not contacting her family? Her giving the letter to the younger brother, the older brother finding it, the older brother and his continued search, the men seeing Umay and following her, causing the riot outside the shelter?

11.Umay’s attempts to reconcile with her family, the issue of Rana and the marriage, the issue of money, her having to marry because pregnant, the cancellation of the engagement, the deal and its going on again? Umay coming with Cem, to be at her sister’s wedding, interrupting the guests, making the speech, ousted and beaten, her desperation?

12.Umay’s friend, helping her, the outings together? Stipe and the invitation to dinner, her forgetting, hurrying to him? His apartment? The proposal?

13.The father and his trip to Turkey? His return and his commissioning his sons to kill Umay?

14.The father’s collapse, in hospital, Rana coming to find Umay, her going to the hospital, her mother? Her father asking forgiveness?

15.Cem, his age, love for his mother, aware of what was happening, with the family, at the shelter, playing with the other children? Stipe and the playing games? The father trying to snatch the boy in the street?

16.The finale, Acar following, the gun, the older brother coming with the knife, stabbing the child and killing the child? Umay walking the street with the dead boy?

17.Issues, principles, reason and emotions, understanding, obstinacy, forgiveness?