WE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

US, 2004, 97 minutes, Colour.
Marc Ruffalo, Laura Dern, Naomi Watts, Peter Krause.
Directed by John Curran.

A hit on the art film circuit, but little mainstream release. A pity, because this is a strong film about very unhappy people.

It is directed by American John Curran who spent some time in Australia and made the award-winning film, Praise. The cast is excellent. Mark Ruffalo is the centre of the film as a suburban lecturer who is weary of his highly-strung wife who loves him deeply but whose management of the house is sloppy (Laura Dern). He is attracted to the somewhat prim (though crass when she speaks about relationships) wife of his best friend, creative writer professor and novelist (Peter Krause). The first couple have two children, the latter a daughter.

Not much happens on the surface. The couples visit, go to parties, look after the house and children, shop. The husbands deal with students, are competitive in running.

Beneath the surface and the deep emotional instability of each character is where the film’s action is. The creative writer is a philanderer who has fallen out of love with his wife. He flirts with his friend’s wife who feels driven into an affair. His wife has fallen in love with his friend and he with her. We chart the ups and downs of the relationships through strong dialogue and emotionally affecting scenes. We wonder about the consequences.

The test for how we respond to the film is where are sympathies are drawn to. Mark Ruffalo makes his character’s behaviour credible but selfish and manipulative. Laura Dern is absolutely convincing as an authentic desperate housewife. Naomi Watts is both charming and naively self-centred, except for her daughter. Peter Krause is convincing as the character we like least.

This is thoughtful drama about people who may be our neighbours. There is more substance to these characters and their experiences than those in the similarly-themed Closer.

1. A small and independent film, not the Hollywood style, not the Hollywood ending?

2. The use of Canadian locations, the two homes, the college, shops, service station? The beauty of nature, the level crossing and the lights (and the symbolism of the crossing and the lights)?

3. A film of sadness, love, mistakes, principles of relationships, lack of principles, sexuality, fidelity, casual encounters, intense affairs, pleasure, the seeking of happiness?

4. The lyrical aspects of the film: the sequences of the two mothers with their children, tenderness, the fathers with their children, the children dancing at school and the parents watching? The nature scenes, the waterfall? The musical score?

5. The bittersweet tone of the film, the limits of personal relationships and integrity, failures?

6. The introduction to each of the four characters, their dancing together, the party, drinking, watching? Touching? John and Edith going to get the beer, the revelation of their relationship? With Terri and Hank? The change, the aftermath? Hank and Edith going home, Terri and John fighting?

7. The role of the flashbacks, of Terri saying she could eat like a horse, Jack’s memories of her when young, Jack and Edith remembering their sexual encounters? Jack’s voice-over and commentary?

8. The parallels, the comparisons of the two couples, the party, the getting up on Saturday, the other days and life at home, the two women going shopping, the relationship with children, meals, talking, fighting, resting, weeping? The intense sexual encounters?

9. The development of each character, the memories, the reasons for the marriage, the fidelity, the leading to infidelity? Talking and not talking? The truth, not telling the truth? Gradual revelations, exercise of courage, marriage break-up?

10. Jack as the focus of the film: his age, work as a literary lecturer, at school, his students, his relationship with his children, playing ball with them, bike-riding, the breakfast, Terri and her lack of organisation, the meals, the desserts, his relationship with Hank, the talk about literature, the talk about girls, Hank’s amorality, their rivalry in running, Jack and his running, being sick? The denial of the affair, yet probing its meaning, Terri’s anger, his demands on her, talking about her relationship with Hank? Taking the car to be serviced, the deceit with Edith, the lyrical nature, the sex scenes, cigarettes and giving them up, Edith wondering when they would be found out? The continued probing, not kidding, seeming calm, the fights, not touching Terri, going to the motel with Edith, forcing Terri to talk, remembrance, the final break with Edith, losing her, the party, paying his debt to Hank, the tensions, the finale and his riding the bike? His lectures and saying life was false?

11. Terri, the background of her marriage, her children, the messy house, her inability to keep control, her playing with her children, her emotional needs, the initial encounter with Hank, telling Jack? The fights with Jack, the discussions, the talk of Hank, her things to do, trying to be fair to Edith? The final episodes with Hank and her explaining them to Jack – true or not? Her growing anger, the final party, leaving, confronting Jack?

12. Edith, her marriage, at the party, at home, tender with her husband, with her children, watching the space program on television, talking about going into space and the daughter with her parents, the deceit with Jack, the sexual encounter, her franker language with him? Her coming home, lying down, weeping? Her memories? Dancing and laughing, the final party, the truth, the fight with Hank, taking her daughter to her mother, leaving him because she said she was able to, at the level crossing?

13. Hank, the party, with Edith at home, with Terri at the party? His daughter, work at the office, creative writing, only a page, going running with Jack, the rivalry and his wanting to win, lending him the money? His talking with the student and the sexual harassment? The lectures and his flirting with his students? The class? With Terri, the final party, the end? His future?

14. The money situation, the shopping, Jack and his buying desserts, having to borrow money from Hank, Terri and the credit card running out and being rejected?

15. Audiences watching the surface, trying to understand the reality?